25 August 2007

For all you women...

Q: How many women going through the MENOPAUSE (or PMS) does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out (as long as the TV and beer fridge still worked). And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the stupid light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 4 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE "F&*%$£G" LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE RUBBISH!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF CRAP THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET ROLL !! . . .

5 comments:

Sir James Robison said...

Clare, I just dream of going through menopause.

MissKris said...

As a woman who IS going thru menopause...what can I say?! We rant. We rave. We're just a little bit crazy. But, like all else in life, this too shall pass. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment, Clare. I saw the phone photo of your 'poopies'...adorable! I used to think Black Labs were my favorite breed of dog until I became "Grandma" to my son's Lhasas. I agree with you...they're a lovely breed of dog. Hope you have a lovely week!

KISSEDALOTATOADS said...

Oh, I can so relate to those scenarios! Your post says it all!
Menopause,.... notice how how womens problems start with MEN! MENustration, MENtal health, MENopause, and not to MENtion, they do not qualify as MENtors! lol
That's what I'm screamin,....

Liz said...

No, don't mention the toilet roll!!!!

Anna said...

I always think it is a bit mortifying when you find that these email forwards could actually be quoted, word-for-word, from conversations in your own house (does everyone else have those problems too?!). And I am only 28. I dread to think how much worse I will be when the menopause hits.