05 February 2007

Money money money...

Must be funny, in a rich man's world. If anyone knows of any laughing rich men who feel like giving me some money, please let me know.

I am penniless. Not because of going away, which is the normal way of things, as I didn't have to pay for very much, but, well, because I've got no income and am funding my MSc myself. I know a lot of people do this every year, but they are probably much better with money than I am...

I moved out of the house in London to save money, and in theory I am, as I'm not paying rent to my mother (on her insistence, I add). However, the person who was supposed to move in hasn't, so I am still paying rent on the house every month. £368 a month seemed a lot when I was living there. It seems extortionate now.

So now I'm off to the bank to ask about a loan. I really did hope I'd be able to get by without, but apparently not. I hate the feeling of being in debt, I actually feel quite panicky about it. Heart races, breath comes in shorter gasps...Will I ever be on top of it?

And the problem comes back again and again because when I feel down or crap or rubbish or ill, I shop. Always have done. My mother is the same. So I'm really not helping myself at all... So it's all my fault, really. ARGH!

I promised this post wouldn't be moany. But I also think (as has been commented on by Pete) that there is less to write about at this time of year. Hence the moan moan moan. Sorry...

5 comments:

chux said...

money is the route of all evil especially when you havent got any!

Laughing rich men usually are only laughing because i've asked them for a loan.

Off btw no need to worry about me and Guildford when I move. I've got it covered i'm only about 30 mins from Brighton!! A cool place by anyones standards I recon! :)

all the best

bananatree said...

hey Clare, money stuff sounds rubbish. I saw the Will Smith film, "In Pursuit of Happyness" last week- have you seen it? Well, maybe don't go to the cinema to watch it if you're penniless, but it's cool. Follow in Chris Gardner [Will Smith]'s example & land an internship in a stockbrockers when you're skint & work hard to get a million dollar job at the end of it. Hmm, well maybe not- but that film made me realise we're richer than we think. obviously debt's never desirable but sometimes is a necessity. However, at least you're not homeless and can have warm meals etc- be thankful for small mercies! how are you feeling btw? hope you're doing ok Thought of you a lot at the weekend when i was feeling poorly and lacking in energy. much love xx

PS it's "love of money..." in fact to amend above comment!

Liz said...

Husband keeps asking me why we spend more each month than comes in! I don't know. Tis a fact of life. My life anyway.

Hope the bank manager is cool.

Shirl said...

Not easy to answer this or to console you Clare. I just really, really hope a new tenant for the London house is found PDQ!

Shirl said...

I do, however, know the answer to Liz's question - it is the same here - because neither she nor I are being paid what we're worth for what we do yet - WRITE! Right?